The Horrible Counselor
by locainlove
Summary: OneShot. AU. Inuyasha, Kagome, Sesshomaru, Rin, Miroku, Sango, Kouga, and Ayame go to marriage counseling for trivial reasons. But it isn't what it looks like. Acting is a very useful weapon now a days...Poor counselor.


A/N: I think the title sucks but whatever. Just R & R! ENJOY!

YOU READ IT, YOU REVIEW IT!

The Horrible Counselor

"Ah, what a wonderful day..."

A young marriage counselor by the name of Ms. Megumi Horn sighed sipping her cup of coffee. She often wondered why she kept her last name but didn't dwell on the thought.

For today she will have 4 new couples to counsel!

And that meant four times the salary!

'Yes life is good.' Megumi thought blissfully.

Looking over the papers the couples filed out, she decided it would be a good idea to get to know them better before they come at 3:00 PM.

Maybe she could get even more money too...

"Let's see here. Hmm, Inuyasha and Kagome Takahashi..." she started, reading the fiels to herself.

"Inuyasha Takahashi, age 24, half demon, has some miko powers...wow that's cool, architect, works for Takahashi Inc, assisstant of Sesshoumaru Takahashi the owner of Takahashi Inc, blah blah blah, hmmm, stubborn, temper problem...interesting." Megumi read and smiled.

If things got out of hand, she could charge him extra...

Yup money was her number one priority.

"Alright, Kagome Takahashi, age 23, human, miko, accountant, works for Takahashi Inc, yadda yadda yadda, ooooh another stubborn one! More common sense than husband, has a serious problem with sit command? oh well...not bad, not bad at all." her smile widened.

"Next, Miroku and Sango Houshi..." Megumi went on to the next file.

"Miroku Houshi, age 26, human, monk, advertiser, another one with Takahashi Inc, the rest is boring, oh wait! A very perverted monk...better watch out, but so far so good." Megumi now read on to Sango's paper.

"Sango Houshi, age 25, human, demon exterminator, accountant, what's with all these people and Takahashi Inc.! Jeez there are other companies in the world! Uhhh, hates it when husband acts pervertedly, and hits hard. Now that will give me some dough." Megumi was now grinning like the evil person she is.

She was too bored to go on with the other files but figured that they would all give her some extra money.

Now what to do to kill time... 

'It's only 2:30. Damn a half hour left.' she thought, urging the clock to go faster.

Saddly, it only went slower.

Megumi decided to busy herself in fixing the room for the couples. She placed nine chairs in a circle, placed her patients's names on them, got the foam bats, got the refreshments ready, and finally, it was three o'clock.

Sitting at her desk smiling, Megumi waited for the couples to arrive. Soon after, she heard a lot of yelling, screaming, slapping, ouches, crying, and then, four couples literally broke down the door and sat on the chairs that had their names on it, still arguing.

"Umm, excuse me?" the racket got louder if that was possible.

"Hello?" nope still too loud.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Megumi yelled and everyone shut up and stared at her with wide eyes. Megumi put on a fake smile and continued with the session.

"Hello all of you! My name is Ms. Megumi Horn, but you may call me Megumi." she said and found a black haired guy with violet eyes holding her hands.

"You are such a beauty Lady Megumi, and what a lovely name you have. Will you bear my chil-" Miroku was cut off when someone bonked him on the head. Hard.

"You stupid lecher!" Sango yelled and dragged her husband back to his seat, leaving a sweat dropping Megumi.

"Err...ok. Let's start with introducing ourselves! Alright we'll start with the left side of the room." Megumi began and looked around the room.

Now that she thought about it, there were a lot of very hot guys in here, And what strange yet beautiful hair colors two of them had...

"Alright you could start now." Megumi waited and stared at Inuyasha. Actually everyone was staring at him.

Chirp...chirp...

Fianlly, Kagome got annoyed and nudged him on the arm.

"What was that for ya wench!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Introduce yourself! AND DONT CALL ME WENCH!" she replied yelling.

"I'LL CALL YOU WHAT I WANT!"

"JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF!"

"YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"

"I'M NOT THE ONE WAIT-"

"PLEASE JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELF!" Megumi ianlly snapped.

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I! EVERYONE KNOWS ME HERE!" Inuyasha snapped back.

"BUT SHE DOESN'T YOU BAKA!" Kagome now yelled.

"Just introduce yourself please!" Megumi cried out already feeling a miagrane come.

"Fine...grumble grumble...Inuyasha Takahashi, hanyou prince, architect, age 24. Happy now!" Inuyasha said crossing his arms.

"Very, now Kagome, I pressume, you may go." Megumi smiled.

"Kagome Takahashi, miko, accountant, age 23." Kagome said.

"Miroku Houshi, monk, advertiser, age 26 my lady." Miroku said but just got bonked on the head by Sango.

"Sango Houshi, demon exterminator, accountant, age 25." Sango said glaring at Megumi.

"Lord Sesshoumaru Takahashi, full demon lord, business owner, age 28." Sesshoumaru said with a look saying you-better-say-lord-Sesshoumaru-you human. Megumi nervously nodded.

"Rin Takahashi, spear master, planner/organizer, age 22." Rin said not so cheerily as normal.

"Kouga Ookami, full demon pack leader, architect, age 26." Kouga huffed.

"Should be Kouga Promise Breaker." mumbled the red headed girl next to him.

"You said something Red?" Kouga growled.

"Oh please just move on!" Megumi sighed seeing that Ayame was going to say something.

"Ayame Ookami, full demoness pack leader, secretary, age 24." Ayame said and crossed her arms.

"Very well. Now let's start with why your here today. Inuyasha, Kagome, you may start." Megumi said starting to regret her choice.

The two started to argue on which person woul go first. Everyone else sweat dropped at the common arguing but finally, Megumi decided to break it up.

"Alright Alright! Kagome go first!" she yelled and Inuyasha scoffed and sulked. Kagome smiled in triumph.

"Inuyasha is being a real jerk lately, not that that's anything new, but it's so annoying that I feel that I will kill myself! and he always has to argue about everything and complain complain and complain! Not to mention he is so stubborn!"

"So your even more stubborn you stupid wench! And dont say that I complain cause everywhere we go, you always have to complain about which store we go to, what we eat, what we DO! That's real annoying! AND IM NOT A JERK!"

"I dont always complain! Who's the one complaining now huh? It's you! I cant say anything without you complaining about what it is I say! DONT CALL ME WENCH!"

"Your complaining now too! Your always saying it's me that does everything but it's you!"

"SILENCE!" Megumi yelled. By now thye two were standing facing eachother, arguing their hearts out.

But that's all they do...

How did they fall in love?

"SHUT UP!" the two yelled in unision at Megumi and kept on arguing.

"YOU KNOW WHAT! SIT!" Kagome yelled.

"HA HA WENCH! THAT WAS ONLY WHEN WE WERE ACTING!" Inuyasha yelled smirking.

"WHEN I SAY SIT, YOU SIT!" and she picked up a chair and hit Inuyasha on the back with it, making him fall on the floor.

"Humph." and Kagome sat down.

"Ok, uhhh...please no violence...moving on! Sango please start." Megumi said nervously after Inuyasha went back to his seat glaring daggers at his mate.

"Miroku is so damn perverted! Everywhere we go, he is always asking any pretty girl to bear his child! And infront of me! And then I end up getting mad and I beta him up! And then he pulls this crap that I'm the only one for him! Im very tired of this!" Sango yelled.

"But it's true Sango! You will always have my heart no matter what." Miroku said.

"I want the rest of you!"

"You need not to worry Sango for you have all of me already."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Guys please settle down." Megumi said after she finsihed writing her notes. Sango stopped but glared daggers at her perverted husband.

"Alright, ummm, Rin you may go." Megumi said.

"Thank you. Sesshoumaru here is way too unemotional. Everytime I talk to him he has that face! He hasn't even smiled since the day we got married! It's so annoying! I try to cheer him up or something but he doesn't budge one bit! And what's with the lord crap! I know your a lord Sesshoumaru but please, your taking it too far!" Rin argued.

"Rin you should know by now that I dont do smiling. Showing emotions is a weakness. And if you think my facade is annoying, than I find yours even more annoying. How could you be so happy every single time. I find it pathetic." Sesshoumaru said not even looking at his mate. Rin only fumed.

"Well excuse me! Maybe I just want to brighten up the day huh!"

"What if no one wants you to brighten up their day?"

"Then they could ignore me!"

"I already do that."

"WHY YOU! I SWEAR I WILL HURT YOU!"

"You could never hurt me."

"ARGH YOUR SO ANNOYING!"

"Like you aren't with your childish emotions?"

"OK OK break it up now before Rin will seriously try to kill someone." Megumi said writing everything down. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

'This is so good! Damn these people are going to make me rich.' Megumi thought.

"Hmmm, ok, Ayame, tell me what's going on." she said when she was done.

"Kouga is such a promise breaker! When we were young, he promised to marry me. And before we got married, he claims to never had made that promise!" Ayame yelled.

"I forgot about it! I...uhhh...really didn't remember!" Kouga yelled defensively.

"Yeah right you flea bitten wolf! You were just after Kagome! I saw how close you two were!" Inuyasha yelled from across the room.

"I already told you Inuyasha were just friends!" Kagome was really tired of this arguement.

"Oh really! Why are you trying to steal my man if you already knew I was promised to him!" Ayame yelled.

"Excuse me! I am no man stealer!"

"Yeah she has me! But I dont know about you!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Ayame has me dog turd!" Kouga said crossing his arms.

"Now that I think about it, I saw you Sango, looking at my man with that face! Dont deny it!" Rin yelled after having a thoughtful face.

"WHAT! Why on Earth would you say that!" Sango defended herself. Her, Miroku, and Sesshoumaru were wide eyed at the accusation. But then they thought of accusations too.

"Monk, I sweared that I would kill you if you touched my woman and you did. Prepare to die." Sesshouamru threatened.

"HEY! But Rin was also looking at me! So I thought it was an invitation!"

By now, everyone had gotten up and started beating eachother up. Inuyasha and Kouga were dodging punches and kicks, Ayame and Kagome were also doing the same, Miroku was running for his life, Sesshouamru after him, and Rin and Sango were pulling hair and punching. Megumi sighed at the sight. It would be a long day that's for sure.

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH ALREADY!" she yelled in vain.

"Quit you blabbering woman and move!" Inuyasha yelled trying to get a hit on Kouga. But that annoying wench ws in his way.

"Excuse me but this is my office and my name is Ms. Megumi Horn!" the counselor yelled, her temper rising.

"I dont care if your name was Ms. Bitch, Ms. Horney, or Ms. Honk! Now move!" Inuyasha yelled back.

'This is not going well.' Megumi thought and inwardly sighed. She better get paid good for this.

"Wait a minute guys! Why are we fighting? We are the best of friends! The one we should be beating up is Ms. Horney! She was the one who made us talk!" Rin yelled. Everyone stopped fighting and glared at a now fear filled Megumi. She gulped and backed away once she saw everyone's intentions with the bats.

"Umm, guys...w..we could...t..t..talk about this! Uhhh, it was only my job!"

"Too late." Kouga growled and everyone started to beat her up with their bat. Megumi got enough time to run out the door but not without some parts of her body getting sore.

She ran down the hallway, down the stairs, and out the front doors, looking like a crazy woman with her white coat practically falling off and her hairs almost out of its used to be neat bun.

Megumi had gone crazy.

The group were still in the office laughing their asses off. It was too funny, they had made yet another counselor go mental.

"I cant believe she actually thought we were fighting! She must really be a mental perosn!" Kagome said after her laugh attack was over.

"Feh, the woman had it coming. She was a horrible counselor." Inuyasha replied crossing his arms, not bothering to hide his smirk. Kagome nodded.

This was better than the others.

"Im so glad we did that movie. Acting is on the top of our -perfect list-" Rin said.

"That was so funny!" Ayame said and laughed again.

"Causing others to go to a mental hospital is childish. But amusing." Sesshoumaru agreed.

"So what do you guys say about ice cream?" Kouga asked throwing his bat at a certain hanyou. Inuyasha threw his bat at the certain wolf.

"Good idea!" Sango said.

"But Miroku's treating." Kouga said while they all headed out the office. Everyone laughed while Miroku sighed but nodded.

He could never get out of that one.

It was always like that the other times.

THE END!

A/N: If you dont get it, too bad. I had this already 3/4 done so before i leave to penn state, i decided to finish it and post it. Well i gotta go pack now, see ya later!

REVIEW! 


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